The Thing About Egypt...

I'd been waiting my entire life to come to Egypt. I mean really, who hasn't dreamed about visiting the land of the Pharaoh's? Who hasn't romanticized standing on the edge of a sand dune, gazing across the desert landscape into the eyes of the enigmatic Sphinx? Or pictured themselves puzzling over hieroglyphics at the temples of Luxor or Karnak? Egypt is more than just a destination for tourism, it is a pilgrimage site where we as a society go to explore our collective fascination with the mysteries of the ancient world. Unfortunately, it is a lousy place to travel.

First let's start with something positive. Egypt has some rather stunning history, and fabulous monuments. The ancient pharaoh's propensity for burying vast amounts of treasure along with them inside their tombs has lead to some of the most dramatic archeological finds in history. In addition Egypt's hot and dry desert climate has preserved monuments like the Great Pyramid and the temples at Abu Simbel in a way that the humid jungles in Guatemala and Cambodia do not.

These stunning pieces of architecture, along with the countries relative closeness to mainland Europe, helped to make Egypt the original tourist destination. Long before air travel opened the world up to mass tourism, people were brought here by the lure of ancient history and exotic culture.

Unfortunately tourism in Egypt has become a victim of it's own success, because no matter how neglected these sites become, or how difficult and bureaucratic travel here is made, people will still come. After all, it's the pyramids, right?.

And believe me, when you first see them in person, approaching from a distance, the pyramids are impressive. But nothing could match the disappointment I felt when I got close enough to see the ring of empty water bottles and other rubbish that encircled the base of these magnificent tombs. Nothing perhaps, but the irritation I felt at being unable to walk even five feet without being harassed by someone who wanted me to take their picture for a fee, or sell me water at horrendously inflated prices.

Now don't get me wrong, I know every world monument has it's touts, but Egypt is the only place I've ever traveled where they are allowed into the monument sites themselves. Places like Tikal and Angkor wisely keep the harassment outside, at the entrance to sites. Once you push your way past the throngs of pitchmen you are allowed to explore these places in relative peace. Egypt however has no such rules. And let me tell you, it's hard to contemplate the wonder of these buildings when someone is shouting in your face to try to sell you a tacky wooden statue of a cat.

It seems like no one here cares about anything. That there's no sense of pride in a job well done. As long as it's done, that's all that matters. The Egyptian Museum, the building that houses all of the country's most precious artifacts, is a jumble of displays with seemingly little order or relative information. Any text that does attempt to explain what you're looking at is likely to be typewritten on a faded, yellowing piece of paper that hasn't been touched in thirty years. It's great to see amulets and sarcophagus that are thousands of years old, but the lack of information here makes what could otherwise be a rich experience, shallow. I learned more about ancient Egypt in one afternoon at London's British Museum than in my whole trip to Egypt.

Then of course, there's the heat.

It would be a dull and obvious statement to say that Egypt is hot, especially in the summertime. But it's hard to precisely explain how mind-numbingly, lethargy-inducingly, patience-shorteningly hot it really is. Amanda and I often found ourselves noting that an evening felt cool only to check her thermometer and realize it was still above 90 degrees Fahrenheit. That's how bloody hot it was.

This unrelenting heat led to the sad fact that we spent nearly all our time we weren't exploring sites, holed up in our hotel with the air conditioning on the highest setting. It is with great shame that I admit that on more than one occasion we found ourselves eating at McDonald's because it was the only air conditioned restaurant we could find.

Upon arrival in Egypt any westerner will find themselves set upon by throngs of touts. I'm no stranger to enthusiastic sales people, having endured the tuk-tuk drivers of Bangkok and DVD hawkers in Kuala Lumpur's Chinatown. But the Egyptians have an exceptionally irritating way of pitching their sales. The following is a characteristic example of an interaction

Tout: “Excuse me my friend, carriage ride?”
Tourist (Politely): “No thank you.”
Tout (Angrily): “Why not?”
Tourist (Still Politely): “Thank you, but I'm just out for a walk.”
Tout (Following the tourist down the street): “Maybe later?”
Tourist (Growing Irritated But Trying to Remain Kind): “Probably not, sorry.”
Tout (Shouting now): “Why don't you want to ride in my carriage?”

At this point in the interaction the tourist may be lucky enough that the tout will leave them alone. However it is important to note that this is often not the case at all, and they will frequently be further pursued. It is also important to emphasise that even if the tout in the above example does leave them alone, then the helpless tourist will immediately be subjected to a nearly identical interaction with the next carriage driver, taxi jock, or junk souvenir peddler on the street, ad infinitum. Even when you find someone who seems to be on the up-and-up, to finally be willing to help you, to be willing to give you directions to where you want to go, or help you in some other way, look out. More than likely they're going to lead you to their perfume shop, or demand baksheesh, or some other such petty and frustrating trick. In Egypt that everyone has their own agenda in mind.

In their defense though, it must be noted that the desperate in-your-face style of salesmanship the Egyptians favor is a direct reflection of their poor economic standing. With nearly 20% unemployment and little in the way of viable natural resources the Egyptians should be given some leeway. And though as a traveler here it often seems that everyone feels entitled to a piece of your good fortune, it is remarkable how low the violent crime rate really is. In Egypt you're certain to be cheated on an almost daily basis, but nearly no one is ever robbed, even in a big city like Cairo. Take that New York.

You might get the impression from what I've written that we never had a good time in Egypt. This however, isn't entirely true. There were still several highlights such as our camping trip out to the western desert, or seeing the beautiful and mysterious temples at Abu Simble. But the overall experience of coming here was frustrating, exhausting, and ultimately defeating. I'd been waiting my whole life to go to Egypt, and in a way, I'm glad I did. Because now that I've been there, I'll never have to go back again.